Alll my life , I’ve had to fend for myself. You know I’m use to a lot of shit I’ve been through. I’ve been raising myself since my grandmother passed away. I lost one of my best friend to cancer , and it still is the hardest thing I go thru. I wake up everyday with a thought of my gradnmother , grandfather , and my friend Derek , for the simple fact three of the most important people are gone , and I can do anything to bring them back. I’m always the girl that has a smile on her face, the girl that’s always cheering others up. But , since all this shit is going on I’ve just become another hurt person in this fucked up society. There’s thing that’ve happened to me that I can’t even get out of my mind. The shit I’ve been thru at the ages of 12-17 are crazy , and I keep myself with my head lifted. But , it does tend to fall .
I’ve never had the best relationship with my father , and I told myself I promised to my grandmother I’d work on it, and you know were the relationship is , the same place it’s been before she passed away my 6th grade year. I promise people everything , but I always fall back on the things I promise, I promise ill do this , and I promise I’ll do that , but I never do them. Sorta makes me feel sorry for myself , becuz why should I make promise’s that I will not keep? People are so shocked when they meet me , and know a little about me , the shit I’ve been thru , the bullying I went thru becuz I’m not like everyone else . The fact I may not be a skinny as everyone or , the fact that I have things they lack. I never once rubbed things I had in peoples faces , but people always wanna rub shit in mine. You know what im saying?
If you’re reading this I don’t expect anyone to feel sorry for me , I don’t expect you to have pitty for me . That jus makes shit so much more worse , I’m human I learn from shit I’ve been thru , I’m one of the strongest people I know , and I don’t say that becuz its me , I say it because of what I’ve been thru.
I laugh when people pitty me , they say they feel sorry for me , they tell me you know , you`ll nevr amount to much , and as much as I don’t believe it I sorta do , but im gonna prove everyone wrong believe me when I tell you this , I will make everyone shock , everyone who doubted me , everyone who told me I was going to be shit , just watch .
I’ll prove you , and even myself wrong.
--Lala
